Curious food #6: Ugma Instant Snail Seasoning

13 Oct

Instant Snail Seasoning! When you just can’t wait!

This is a recent Cabinet of Food Curiosities acquisition that I received in the mail from an anonymous donor. But I’m pretty sure I know who you are – thanks!

Ugma is a very appropriate sounding name for a snail seasoning, instant or otherwise. When I was trying (unsuccessfully) to find the Ugma company online, I came across a few Ugmas including The Union of German Malayalee Associations. I’m pretty sure it’s not them.

I’ve never been a big fan of snails, but if someone prepared them for me I would certainly eat them. I’m in it for the butter. However, they remind me too much of their cousin the slug who has been eating my garden this year. The-Man-With-Whom-I-Keep-Company says that they are just trying to make a living, but I say there are plenty of weeds that they could eat and then the slugs and I would have a mutually satisfying relationship.

Since we live on the generally dry prairies, slugs are not a problem most years, but we have had a particularly rainy year so the slugs magically appeared. I wondered where the heck they go during droughts and our minus 40 degrees C winters?

That Bug Guy tells me that “Slugs maintain small, but highly automated cities deep in the crust of the earth. During the summer, the baby slugs and the old timers (those that have lived one year already) travel through secret passages worn smooth through eons of polishing by slug mucous. They then spend the season lolling about the surface, eating and mating and going about their sluggy business as we expect from them. Then, as suddenly as they appeared in the spring, they are gone. They make the trek down those long tunnels, pulling cocoons of eggs with them and return to their cities.”

Wow. Slug City lives beneath us. Kind of like the Morlocks in H.G. Wells’  “The Time Machine”.

Eat your snails before they eat you! And keep Ugma Instant Snail Seasoning (isn’t that an oxymoron by the way?) on hand for those last-minute family meals.

Posted by Truly Scrumptious 

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3 Responses to “Curious food #6: Ugma Instant Snail Seasoning”

  1. The Erratic Cook October 15, 2012 at 2:46 pm #

    I think I have a snail cooking thingy somewhere – never used. It looks like an onion soup bowl but with 6 little dips in the top instead of a soup bowl. Snails – not so yum.

  2. Bill Mcgovern March 7, 2015 at 10:53 am #

    where do i buy ugma instant seasoning?

    • Marlena Wyman March 7, 2015 at 3:59 pm #

      That’s a question I did not expect. This was a gift to my collection. Now I need to remember from whom…

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